Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jacknapes2000

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 4:02am) | Search for a member

jacknapes2000

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 December 1969 (44 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 226
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jacknapes2000 : Uhh I don't know what to say um I'm not good describing myself...

jacknapes2000's page activity

Visits<b>AllThatXO</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:56am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:24am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:46pm<b>bugeja1na</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:38am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:42pm<b>crystalxa</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:31am<b>WellHelloThere47</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 3:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 10:10am<b>Online_i</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 7:30pm<b>xfazedout</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 7:05pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Janiney</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:41am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:12am

jacknapes2000's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jacknapes2000's badges

jacknapes2000's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49167) - you deserved it (21252)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (6121)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (4130)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (6109)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50999) - you deserved it (7151)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59913) - you deserved it (5136)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (4807)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (7852)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (2021)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (3209)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you deserved it (41476)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: