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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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jackiness

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jackiness
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 496
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jackiness's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jackiness's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (12456) - you deserved it (43104)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (7309)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML

#4594476 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (5428) - you deserved it (40387)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by SenescentSouthernBoy (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (1789)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (10506) - you deserved it (27429)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (15505)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (57195)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (5131)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (921) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (47010)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (10360)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (50864) - you deserved it (6109)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59773) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (10138)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)