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jackhammer786

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jackhammer786

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1218
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jackhammer786's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>Ajjas013</b> - the 04/03/2010 at 11:35pm

jackhammer786's FML badges

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jackhammer786's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my parents confiscated my iPod, because the parents' group they go to came to the conclusion that music is a gateway to anti-social behavior. FML

#14674940
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by ihatemyparents (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (3855) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

#14616204
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (3174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68582) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10969) - you deserved it (31865)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (3457)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (9880)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (12197)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18061) - you deserved it (27378)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12366) - you deserved it (25890)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14042) - you deserved it (33184)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33095) - you deserved it (3885)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (5134)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (9127)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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