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jackacar12436

Offline (the 03/05/2015 at 7:54pm) | Search for a member

jackacar12436

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  • Number of visits : 142
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jackacar12436's page activity

Visits<b>conduit65</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:06pm

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jackacar12436's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (6022)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (2920)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (10421)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (6144)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43094) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37030) - you deserved it (7473)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (17835)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44273) - you deserved it (4841)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (1790)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15903) - you deserved it (22796)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (8749)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46775) - you deserved it (11606)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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