jack123456789

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm)

jack123456789

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 617
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

jack123456789's page activity

Visits<b>RusticChick</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:16am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:28am<b>chloebriana</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:23pm<b>XXMrsBunnyXX</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:28pm

jack123456789's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jack123456789's badges

jack123456789's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

by dating a big bag of dicks / 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm / United States / Animals

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

by cryface / 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

by FootinMouth / 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

by fuckalltwitardsintheface / 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2012 at 9:46am / United States / Money

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

by shastadoe / 08/06/2012 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 2:00am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy