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jack123456789

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 11:15pm) | Search for a member

jack123456789

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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jack123456789's page activity

Visits<b>RusticChick</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:16am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:28am<b>chloebriana</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:23pm<b>XXMrsBunnyXX</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:28pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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jack123456789's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53052) - you deserved it (8393)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (18147)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43662) - you deserved it (15643)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (48996)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (1297)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20447) - you deserved it (3520)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (8848)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (3383)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

#20005230
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

#20001581
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (1818)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56439) - you deserved it (10345)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3420)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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