jaakeeyy1

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Offline (the 08/21/2016 at 12:18am)

jaakeeyy1

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1478
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jaakeeyy1 : I say it like it is.
I love reading all the fml's when i have nothing else better to do at 1am.
Maybe one day one of mine will get published on here, hahah

jaakeeyy1's page activity

Visits<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:30pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:20pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:10pm<b>ashmix123</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:26pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:47am<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:22am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Radieal</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:28pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>BigDrewski22</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:57pm<b>katebond</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:19pm<b>marlie01</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:27pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:30pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:12pm<b>munchly</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Zenith2898</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>Shelblit69</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:58am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:47am<b>kylie31</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:39am<b>mmoments</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:05am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>dancer824</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:12am

jaakeeyy1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of jaakeeyy1's badges

jaakeeyy1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

by ugh!! / 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work