jaakeeyy1

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Offline (the 10/08/2016 at 11:15pm)

jaakeeyy1

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jaakeeyy1 : I say it like it is.
I love reading all the fml's when i have nothing else better to do at 1am.
Maybe one day one of mine will get published on here, hahah

jaakeeyy1's page activity

Visits<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:30pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:20pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:10pm<b>ashmix123</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 3:26pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:47am<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:22am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Radieal</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:28pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>BigDrewski22</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:57pm<b>katebond</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:19pm<b>marlie01</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:27pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:30pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:12pm<b>munchly</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Zenith2898</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>Shelblit69</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:58am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:47am<b>kylie31</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:39am<b>mmoments</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:05am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:37pm<b>dancer824</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:12am

jaakeeyy1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of jaakeeyy1's badges

jaakeeyy1's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

by Kaeyne / 03/24/2009 at 11:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy