Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

j_mitchell25

Online | Search for a member

j_mitchell25

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

j_mitchell25's page activity

Visits<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sdlr32787</b> - 24 hours ago<b>leahb99</b> - yesterday at 1:27am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:51pm<b>trinity4409</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:06pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>wchil</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:47pm<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>rachh6421</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:44pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:27pm<b>DkrANGEL</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:43pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:32pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:05pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:37pm<b>orbit</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:45pm<b>magikbruh</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:25am<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:09pm

j_mitchell25's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of j_mitchell25's badges

j_mitchell25's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2847)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (4132)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (2530)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (6659)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

#21314908
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16683) - you deserved it (38042)

On 12/10/2014 at 7:59am - love - by mastel07 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33375) - you deserved it (6449)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (7621)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (2417)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (2566)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: