[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69

Search for a member

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69
  • Town/Country : Rochester, New York, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2448
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 : High, I'm Mike Mosher. I enjoy trying to get laid, failing, then proceeding to try to post an FML about it, and it gets rejected too

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's last visitors

Freezeiluvu1262nerdygirl2261Dale_xDsquigglysharkMDMADarkMirrorkatielouise86muffy_da_bearCreat1ve

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (32250) - you deserved it (68353)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

#429939 (34)

I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (44055)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by natalieeee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (81740) - you deserved it (35232)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (135605)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (12900) - you deserved it (51208)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363130) - you deserved it (401479)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

#245607 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (68755) - you deserved it (23002)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (49831) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

#229986 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (57185) - you deserved it (4976)

On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by promdump (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (41652) - you deserved it (5309)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (54014) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (16979) - you deserved it (93372)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (97621)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (16036) - you deserved it (162356)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (81081)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)