jESuS_lOVeS_mE69

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jESuS_lOVeS_mE69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3715
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 : High, I'm Mike Mosher. I enjoy trying to get laid, failing, then proceeding to try to post an FML about it, and it gets rejected too

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's page activity

Visits<b>jman1324</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:23pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:16pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:14pm<b>shaar</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:02am<b>lockdownhell</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:13pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:04am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:47am<b>elfsmh</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 4:52am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:50pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 10:53am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:14am<b>nerdygirl2261</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 11:54pm<b>Dale_xD</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 8:53am<b>squigglyshark</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 1:43am<b>MDMA</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 6:34am<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 3:37pm<b>katielouise86</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:32pm

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

by natalieeee / 03/17/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:46am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

by kelsey / 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by oconron / 03/06/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

by saddude / 03/04/2009 at 2:03am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy