Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jBird

Search for a member

jBird

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1774
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jBird's page activity

Visits<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:14am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:42pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:59pm<b>shadan</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 12:03pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 11:15am<b>Ultimate_Cynic</b> - the 10/26/2009 at 8:49pm<b>poh_s1m</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 7:30am<b>x_BOOMbox</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 3:37pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:30pm<b>timtam24</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 9:03am<b>MelanieP</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 10:26pm<b>KatieClaire</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 6:01pm

jBird's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jBird's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (2518)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (28388)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (2748)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12205) - you deserved it (30421)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (8365)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (2553)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (4184)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (4622)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (4524)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (17767)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: