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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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jBird

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jBird
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1113
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jBird's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1622)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (19102)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (1907)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (20780)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (1856)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (1409)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted,"Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (1604)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (1431)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

#6751583 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (2342)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm - misc - by samgonzalessb - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (3099)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (13025)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27608) - you deserved it (3909)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)