jBird

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jBird

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2337
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jBird's page activity

Visits<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:18am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:14am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:42pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:59pm<b>shadan</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 12:03pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 11:15am<b>Ultimate_Cynic</b> - the 10/26/2009 at 8:49pm<b>poh_s1m</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 7:30am<b>x_BOOMbox</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 3:37pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:30pm<b>timtam24</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 9:03am<b>MelanieP</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 10:26pm<b>KatieClaire</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 6:01pm

jBird's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jBird's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

by JK2010 / 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm / Israel (Hefa) / Love

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

by Face / 01/09/2010 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

by samgonzalessb / 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

by Dejected / 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

by harry / 12/04/2009 at 12:55am / Hong Kong / Health

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

by Cpm / 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

by destiny147 / 11/30/2009 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Love

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation