j3nn1987

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j3nn1987

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 May 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5016
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About j3nn1987 : Theres not too much to say. I'm in the Air Force, I'm stationed in Alaska, I like to hunt, fish, sew, write and draw among other things...

j3nn1987's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:40pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:39pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:44am<b>slender_gab</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:44pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:52pm<b>BrockALee</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 9:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:13am<b>Ragna</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 4:56pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 4:33pm<b>Kylias</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 10:31am<b>wahfmylife</b> - the 01/02/2010 at 2:20am<b>ha</b> - the 12/28/2009 at 10:05pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:13pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:06am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 8:38pm<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 8:27pm

j3nn1987's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

j3nn1987's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

by 3lavyaa / 10/07/2009 at 8:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

by badatgenders / 10/03/2009 at 6:49pm / Norway (Nord-Trondelag) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

by explodingpupppet / 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

by failfailfail / 09/30/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

by homersgirl / 09/30/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:17am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Kids

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

by pummy / 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

by loner / 06/07/2009 at 8:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

by peeepeee. / 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Work