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j0rdan12345

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 1:12am) | Search for a member

j0rdan12345

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 59
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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j0rdan12345's page activity

Visits<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Grandmastasexy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:35pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Iceking224</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:28pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:17pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:33am<b>im_fran</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:58am<b>beach_babe3</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:16am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:52pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:07am<b>jonchavez</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:37pm

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j0rdan12345's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59572) - you deserved it (8450)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (9261)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (4588)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42250) - you deserved it (4629)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53023) - you deserved it (5369)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40790) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59068) - you deserved it (5969)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (2370)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (11108)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (2457)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

#19791173
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6867) - you deserved it (45246)

On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9000) - you deserved it (31251)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (1744)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)



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