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iwishiwasjoking

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iwishiwasjoking
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  • Number of visits : 80
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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iwishiwasjoking's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (3344)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28485) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (4388)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (13217)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25619) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (7430)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40247) - you deserved it (8915)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6024) - you deserved it (35800)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (5589)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35113) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (30119)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8672) - you deserved it (24761)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12108) - you deserved it (31331)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)



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