[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

itsucks12

Search for a member

itsucks12
  • Town/Country : Port orange, Florida
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1983 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 218
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

itsucks12's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

itsucks12's favorite FMLs

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (15393)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (6156)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (14751) - you deserved it (5007)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (5390)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (2121)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (4805) - you deserved it (15406)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (72165) - you deserved it (7427)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

#7649526 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (5143) - you deserved it (13666)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (18963)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (79781) - you deserved it (32826)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)