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itsss_courtney's favorite FMLs
by iLynz / 04/23/2013 at 2:34am / United States / Intimacy
by KyngJulian / 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML
by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
by a little less poor at least / 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money
by gamerguru13 / 04/21/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by unlucky / 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by MaggotMother / 04/20/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
by s0m3guy2010 / 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm / Bulgaria (Sofiya) / Health
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently… Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with… Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him.…