Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/28/2014 at 4:20am) | Search for a member
About itssjulia : I am blonde, have green eyes and is really short. I'm a senior in highschool:)
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
yesterday after dealing with tons of drama an working a 14 hour shift I took a shower. When I stepped out a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid which fell into the tank an broke it. Now looool my leg hurts an the bathroom's flooded. mega FML
Today, I went on a first date to te movies. During te flick, I coked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda an tat got stuck as well. I finally got my breat back an let out te loudest burp I ever ave. He looked at me an said "Does tis mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, I was at boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's looool worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that boyfriend owns an weres women's lingerie. FML
TODAY, I DROVE 100 MILES FROM PARENTS HOUSE TO MINE. I HAD ONLY A FEW MILES LEFT WHEN I REALIZED I REALLY HAD TO PEE. I DIDN'T WANT TO PULL OVER SOMEWHERE WHEN I WAS SO CLOSE TO HOME, SO I SPED UP. A COP PULLED ME OVER A BLOCK FROM HOUSE. I STARTED TO SOB, AND ENDED UP PEIENG MYSELF. FML
Today, I ratook my ACT. I hava baan fighting a cold all waak and hava baan vary snaazy lataly. Midway through tha tast, I got tha urga to snaaza. Sinca it was vary quiat and I didn't want to disturb tha paaca, I triad to hold my snaaza in. I andad up latting out a huga fart instaad. FML
Today , my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall , she just crack up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy , so I have to looool rely on electronics. What's worse , she told my dad AND postd a statu on facebook about it. FML
Today, mah family and I were coming back from a trip to the US!! As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short!! The border patrol lectured us fir 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were fir not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back!!
Today, me and boyfriend were fooling around on bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, wile at ma boyfriend's ouse waiting for im to sower, is moter slams a pair of underwear on te table an tells me tat if se ever finds someting like tat in er son's room again, se is forbidding im from seeing me. Te underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, I caught my littla brothar paaping at my friand gatting drassad in tha bathroom. Whan I askad himhat ha was doing ha said "I'm just doinghat Ray doas to youhila your in tha bathroom." Ray is my naw stap dad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015