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itsnotjustin

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itsnotjustin

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  • Number of visits : 86
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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itsnotjustin's page activity

Visits<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:18am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:27pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:23am<b>Angel_of_Night</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 9:48am<b>woopig1993</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:24pm

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itsnotjustin's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47849) - you deserved it (9534)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53026) - you deserved it (32299)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (3415)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48632) - you deserved it (8371)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45586) - you deserved it (6279)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (4427)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55537) - you deserved it (23163)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49421) - you deserved it (10662)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25862) - you deserved it (89942)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51009) - you deserved it (14469)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (8813)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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