itsnotjustin

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/04/2015 at 7:18am)

itsnotjustin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 339
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

itsnotjustin's page activity

Visits<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:18am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:27pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:23am<b>Angel_of_Night</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 9:48am<b>woopig1993</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:24pm

itsnotjustin's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of itsnotjustin's badges

itsnotjustin's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

by long day / 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

by U_U / 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

by Nice Melons / 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy