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itsmichellebitch

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itsmichellebitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 December 1999 (14 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About itsmichellebitch : Rawr. I'm a dinosaur. Just kidding I'm a unicorn. You can message me if you wanna. Music is my life. I would literally die without it. I kinda love Bruno Mars. I love singing and acting. Takenn! Well that's it I guess. Byee.

itsmichellebitch's page activity

Visits<b>dyazdani0720</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>macday2015</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:49am<b>BaglMinionz</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:08am<b>WhosChaos</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:23am<b>eabsir2010</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:24pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:07am<b>Briittanii</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 3:00am<b>ssgirll98</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 10:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:44pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 5:39pm<b>wafflerocket</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 8:06pm<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:38pm<b>yadanax</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:46am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:24pm<b>Sa7z</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 10:15pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:14pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 11:36pm<b>toxicfrenzy_</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 8:16am

itsmichellebitch's FML badges

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itsmichellebitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (3940)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47585) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (4090)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51428) - you deserved it (3668)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58542) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57834) - you deserved it (8571)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57864) - you deserved it (22578)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65240) - you deserved it (4298)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52249) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

#20741405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (4739)

On 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm - misc - by Selina - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37860) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49993) - you deserved it (11644)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (6335)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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