itsmeD

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itsmeD

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  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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itsmeD's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

by Gitana / 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm / Spain (Navarra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

by Gitana / 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm / Spain (Navarra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

by rattrap / 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

by kb / 02/01/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

by TheFlickChick / 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

by melikeyturtles / 10/10/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

by psychicmother / 09/09/2011 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy