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itsjohannna

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

itsjohannna

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1618
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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itsjohannna's page activity

Visits<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:06pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:29pm<b>persianjr</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>DFizzlio</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:11pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:01am<b>thatrandomchick2</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:00pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:01am<b>smartypants9</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Mylyfesuxs</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:14pm<b>dman1997</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 6:42pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ClaireWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:34pm

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itsjohannna's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43818) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

#21250852
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33304) - you deserved it (12799)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm - misc - by akieferr - United States

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50543) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42957) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45089) - you deserved it (4742)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (8724)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41152) - you deserved it (3512)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (45457)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (9389) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (49557)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51029) - you deserved it (4920)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)



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