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itsjohannna

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itsjohannna

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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itsjohannna's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>DFizzlio</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:11pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:01am<b>thatrandomchick2</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:00pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:01am<b>smartypants9</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Mylyfesuxs</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:14pm<b>dman1997</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 6:42pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ClaireWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:34pm

itsjohannna's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of itsjohannna's badges

itsjohannna's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (5725)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (6071)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (6516)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50414) - you deserved it (7531)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (14117)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (7840)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (23013)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48867) - you deserved it (4136)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52850) - you deserved it (3787)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47724) - you deserved it (6065)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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