Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsjohannna

Offline (yesterday at 10:56pm) | Search for a member

itsjohannna

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1034
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

itsjohannna's page activity

Visits<b>Ichiya</b> - yesterday at 6:36pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:43pm<b>DFizzlio</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:11pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 3:01am<b>thatrandomchick2</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:51pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:00pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:01am<b>smartypants9</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Mylyfesuxs</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:14pm<b>dman1997</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 6:42pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:12pm<b>ClaireWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:34pm

itsjohannna's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of itsjohannna's badges

itsjohannna's favorite FMLs

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31644) - you deserved it (6361) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (44838)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (4199)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13685) - you deserved it (65182)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (33919)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24119) - you deserved it (50191)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46069) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (4351)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (5728)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: