Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsame0987

Search for a member

itsame0987
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2358
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsame0987 : I am very opinionated, and love to debate. I am a computer and video game nerd. My favorite game is Madden (any version).

To my friends, family, and coworkers I am known as the queen of random facts. I love to study everything, and am currently working on learning more about cars. I would love to be able to do my own work on my car so I don't have to go to the mechanic to fix problems with it.

I am a die-hard football fan, part of being born and raised in Alabama, and I say Roll Tide. I watch so many games every week that I pick up on tendencies of teams and by the middle of the season I can pretty well tell what plays they are going to run based on the formation and situation in the game. (Yes I am that obsessed)

I am taken, and am in the best relationship I have ever been in. Anything else you want to know just ask.

itsame0987's last visitors

scott1092FedergirlPleonasmshucks101SuperPizzaManExotic_Nihilismk_gilsstrawberrywine22flupsht

itsame0987's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of itsame0987's badges

itsame0987's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (50604)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7694) - you deserved it (40992)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (4964)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (2256)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9139) - you deserved it (56061)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML

#18542598
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (39125)

On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45877) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (5035)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (1746)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (68007)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68934)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: