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itsame0987

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

itsame0987

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6354
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsame0987 : I am very opinionated, and love to debate. I am a computer and video game nerd. My favorite game is Madden (any version).

To my friends, family, and coworkers I am known as the queen of random facts. I love to study everything, and am currently working on learning more about cars. I would love to be able to do my own work on my car so I don't have to go to the mechanic to fix problems with it.

I am a die-hard football fan, part of being born and raised in Alabama, and I say Roll Tide. I watch so many games every week that I pick up on tendencies of teams and by the middle of the season I can pretty well tell what plays they are going to run based on the formation and situation in the game. (Yes I am that obsessed)

I am taken, and am in the best relationship I have ever been in. Anything else you want to know just ask.

itsame0987's page activity

Visits<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Kiziku</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:07pm<b>jlnotary</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:50pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:04am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>scott1092</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:47am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:25pm<b>airca101</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:46am<b>shucks101</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Sporky13</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:27am<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:55am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:07am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:27pm<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 7:14am<b>tralala453</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:35pm

itsame0987's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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itsame0987's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (3473) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (24093)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (3503)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35314) - you deserved it (3961)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (4955) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (9226)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (7735)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (2598)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (5482)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (52894)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (44991)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)



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