Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsame0987

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

itsame0987

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5449
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsame0987 : I am very opinionated, and love to debate. I am a computer and video game nerd. My favorite game is Madden (any version).

To my friends, family, and coworkers I am known as the queen of random facts. I love to study everything, and am currently working on learning more about cars. I would love to be able to do my own work on my car so I don't have to go to the mechanic to fix problems with it.

I am a die-hard football fan, part of being born and raised in Alabama, and I say Roll Tide. I watch so many games every week that I pick up on tendencies of teams and by the middle of the season I can pretty well tell what plays they are going to run based on the formation and situation in the game. (Yes I am that obsessed)

I am taken, and am in the best relationship I have ever been in. Anything else you want to know just ask.

itsame0987's page activity

Visits<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Kiziku</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:07pm<b>jlnotary</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:50pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:04am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>scott1092</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:47am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:25pm<b>airca101</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:46am<b>shucks101</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Sporky13</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:27am<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:55am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:07am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:27pm<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 7:14am<b>tralala453</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:35pm

itsame0987's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of itsame0987's badges

itsame0987's favorite FMLs

Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML

#19188907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (28531)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm - work - by tammylauraine - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (29223)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (29223)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (2472)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (2277)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (2277)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (76414)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (4352)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (4352)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (3492)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (14262)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (4576)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: