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itsame0987

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

itsame0987

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6314
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsame0987 : I am very opinionated, and love to debate. I am a computer and video game nerd. My favorite game is Madden (any version).

To my friends, family, and coworkers I am known as the queen of random facts. I love to study everything, and am currently working on learning more about cars. I would love to be able to do my own work on my car so I don't have to go to the mechanic to fix problems with it.

I am a die-hard football fan, part of being born and raised in Alabama, and I say Roll Tide. I watch so many games every week that I pick up on tendencies of teams and by the middle of the season I can pretty well tell what plays they are going to run based on the formation and situation in the game. (Yes I am that obsessed)

I am taken, and am in the best relationship I have ever been in. Anything else you want to know just ask.

itsame0987's page activity

Visits<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Kiziku</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:07pm<b>jlnotary</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:50pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:04am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>scott1092</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:47am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:25pm<b>airca101</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:46am<b>shucks101</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Sporky13</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:27am<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:55am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:07am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:27pm<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 7:14am<b>tralala453</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:35pm

itsame0987's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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itsame0987's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2029)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6786) - you deserved it (56119)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (5020)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (38289)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10920) - you deserved it (32853)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (4933)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (5598)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (6224)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

#19856558
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (4986)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (4527)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (3271)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (8766)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)



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