Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsame0987

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 5:57pm) | Search for a member

itsame0987

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3296
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsame0987 : I am very opinionated, and love to debate. I am a computer and video game nerd. My favorite game is Madden (any version).

To my friends, family, and coworkers I am known as the queen of random facts. I love to study everything, and am currently working on learning more about cars. I would love to be able to do my own work on my car so I don't have to go to the mechanic to fix problems with it.

I am a die-hard football fan, part of being born and raised in Alabama, and I say Roll Tide. I watch so many games every week that I pick up on tendencies of teams and by the middle of the season I can pretty well tell what plays they are going to run based on the formation and situation in the game. (Yes I am that obsessed)

I am taken, and am in the best relationship I have ever been in. Anything else you want to know just ask.

itsame0987's page activity

Visits<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:04am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>scott1092</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:47am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm<b>agent4442</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 11:25pm<b>airca101</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:46am<b>shucks101</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Sporky13</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:27am<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:55am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:07am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:27pm<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 4:54am<b>flupsht</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 7:14am<b>tralala453</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:35pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 2:39pm<b>SilverInGray</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Nicole1225</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:55am

itsame0987's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of itsame0987's badges

itsame0987's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (1934)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (4313)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (2609)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17996) - you deserved it (23311)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (1552)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9281) - you deserved it (25064)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2881)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2881)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (6744)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14762) - you deserved it (38423)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33745) - you deserved it (5901)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: