Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

itsalanis

Offline (yesterday at 3:43am) | Search for a member

itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5904
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - yesterday at 12:44pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:16pm<b>MrCafe</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today as I was taking an avaning jog around my naighbourhood I passad an aldarly woman. I grinnad at har as sign of friandlinass to a common padastrian. Sha grinnad back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

#1449103
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44734) - you deserved it (5746)

On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)

2day I realized the senior thesi I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

#1423979
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (58295)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , mah 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh , so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and lockd the door. I inadvertently taught mah little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (59220)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , my alarm went off. I reacd to swat it , missd , slippd , smackd my face on my dresser , and fell on te floor. As I pickd myself up off te floor , I it my ead on te open top drawer of my oter dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness , I was attackd by two pieces of furniture. mega FML

#1250407
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54692) - you deserved it (10488)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was petting mah cat when mah new mood ring turnd bright purple. I checkd the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to mah ring, I'm hot 4 mah cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (15743)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

YESTERDAY, I AD TO RE-TAKE AN OUR LONG MRI SCAN BECAUSE I GOT AN ERECTION MIDWAY TROUG. FML

#1051780
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67985) - you deserved it (15946)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I WAS DRIVING AND I SAW WAS A DOG RUNNING ONTO THE ROAD, I SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES TO A COMPLETELY STOP . MULTIPLE CARS CRASHED INTO THE BACK OF MY CAR . IT TURNS OUT IT WASN'T A DOG, IT WAS JUST NEWSPAPER BLOWN BY THE WIND .

#943604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (49024)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:41am - animals - by Peta - Canada

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just crcld the bottom half of the page and wrote ( OMG. ) FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92222) - you deserved it (27527)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I want on a data wit tis girl I mat onlina. Ta convarsation driftad and wa wara talking about ow wa'd prafar to dia, if wa ad a coica. I said, "I want to skydiva ovar ta ocaan witout a paracuta." Sa said sa wants to ba mada into a wallat. fat FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55461) - you deserved it (8889)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today The Director Of The Play I'm In Decided To Explainhy We Got The Parts We Did. He Said He Tried Matching Our Characters Toho We Actually Are. I Play Ahoreho's A Transvestite. FML

#818560
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65403) - you deserved it (6066)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Yesterday, I set AIM statu to be the currently-playing file on iTunes . I've downloaded a lot of porn to iTunes, and I wanted to watch some . My statu changed to ( Grl in Latex gets fucked in the ass . ) FML

#798927
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you deserved it (145794)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I Was In Mah Room With The Door Lockd And Mah Mom Knockd On The Door!! I Said ( Don't Come In, I'm Nakd! ) She Said ( That's Okay! ) So She Unlockd The Door And Walkd In!! I Was Masturbating!! FML

#694537
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89574) - you deserved it (35411)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I CALLD MAH MOM TO TALL HAR: "MOM, I FINALLY GOT MAH PARIOD!" THARA WAS AN AWKWARD PAUSA. SHA WAS AT WORK. I WAS ON SPAAKARPHONA.

#644673
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60647) - you deserved it (23285)

On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: