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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3483
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:50am<b>mordecaiandrigby</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:42pm<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:14am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ctck</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:05pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Dro23</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:08pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>shaquizzy18</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:19am<b>sythe511</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:58pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Rernokk</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:48am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:06pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:03am<b>Aleys</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:17pm

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1157219) - you deserved it (115935)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (37567)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16994) - you deserved it (44302)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (113173)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234707) - you deserved it (81899)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17195) - you deserved it (46325)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (5153)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (3809)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (5634)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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