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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10513
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 6:07pm<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 5:34pm<b>t</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 8:10am<b>enticingmudkip</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 12:14am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:09pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 5:30pm<b>coleycakes_805</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 3:10pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:08pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:33am<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 10:02am<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 3:11pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 6:57am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:21pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:33pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Butterflies777</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 6:16pm<b>yanalynch</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:00am

Fucked!<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 4:02pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 5:57am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:17am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:47am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:43am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2009 at 6:02am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

by cookscatastrophy / 12/08/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

by Mr IT / 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Work

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

by lonewolf2701 / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 2:21am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

by userrrrr / 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

by shocked / 10/12/2009 at 10:52am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

by sleepytime / 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work