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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5905
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - yesterday at 12:44pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:16pm<b>MrCafe</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

today I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized hands were in between legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66795) - you deserved it (14830)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Taday I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and looool could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (62529)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while shopping in the Fml store I bought the ( Retro Sport Tee, ) I didn't notice you r supposed to putted your own ( FML ) on the shrt . Mine says ( Today, Your Text Here . FML . ) FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (76023)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he calld to me "I ned some help in here." Worrid I ran to the bathroom an askd himhat was wrong. He needd me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as mah hand was under his butt, he poopd again an laughd. FML

#2421163
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (5772)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH GIRLFRIEND WAS SICK SO I TOOK HER 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER OUT TO EAT !! HALF-WAY THROUGH OUR "DATE" SHE ASKS ME LOUDLY "CAN WE GO BACK TO THE CAR NOW AN TAKE OUR CLOTHS OFF?" APPARENTLY SHE MEANT HER TOY DOG'S CLOTHES !! FACE BURNING, WE LEFT A HALF LAUGHING/HALF GLARING CROWD BEHIND !! FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44115) - you deserved it (2860)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Taday my fiancé proposed to me at the movies!! The movie stopped in the middle, an my fiancé stand up, takes out a microphone an announce to the entre theatre that he loves me!! Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", an throw a cup of coke at my head!! FML

#1832318
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75084) - you deserved it (14396)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I got a new comfy duvet an pillow an was looking forward to a good night's sleep . I got into bd an was followd by mah dog , who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto mah brand new bd spread . looool FML

#1782445
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (4684)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by jonboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

TODAY WAS MAH FIRST MEETING WITH BUSINESS PARTNERS AS I AM NEW TO THE TEAM. INSTEAD OF SAYING THAT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO "STRETCHING MAH LEGS" OR "SPREADING MAH WINGS" I TOLD THEM I WAS ANXIOUS TO START "SPREADING MAH LEGS". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57531) - you deserved it (20011)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, mah legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read ( Caution: Icy Conditions ).

#1665462
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48315) - you deserved it (8576)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafa I raalizad thara wara two stickar on my back that raad: "Don't touch my no-no squara" an "I waar diapars." I maka food with my back to customar all day an I walk through tha saating araa dalivaring food. No ona said anything. maga FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47085) - you deserved it (3479)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we watcd a movie in Frenc class. I went on a Frenc excange last year, so I wantd to sound all impressive and culturd for ma crus wo is in te same class. I said tat it was ma favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watc it wit everyone. Te movie turnd out to be about incest. FML

#1648033
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (76883)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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