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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5906
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:44pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:16pm<b>MrCafe</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today... I recieved multiple pone calls asking ow muc my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never ad a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out te guy I prank pone called te oter day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist wit an add for a Siamese cat. FML

#8078249
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (53601)

On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

today I was in the car with 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to ( get it up! ) so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, ( You're too old fir me, but I'll get it up fir her! ) FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8300) - you deserved it (27614)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

after a 9 hour train journey through the Polish mountains, I mistook a small black an white cat looool 4 a penguin. FML

#7753141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6273) - you deserved it (23371)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm - animals - by saintmichi (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced mah leg open. Why? I jumped off mah bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned looool to Miss Vrginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (30440)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Was Woken Up By My Own Fart . FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11007) - you deserved it (32057)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

TODAY, I WOKE UP WITH A HANGOVER. I HAD A PARTY LAST NIGHT. BESIDES A STOLEN TV, SOMEONE SEEMINGLY DECIDED TO TAKE A DUMP IN MY PIANO. FML

#7637275
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13431) - you deserved it (25759)

On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)

Today, I found out mah girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silencehen he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear."

#7563904
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

today I was talking this pretty religious grl that I like . We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyoneho would it be . She said Jesus . Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (41875)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to get friend a drink wile se sat in te lounge watcing TV wit dog. Wen I came back, I found er licking dogs ears. Se said e dared er to do it. fat FML

#7540376
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Yesterday, I was in te line at Cipotle an noticd a very attractive lady in er mid 20's. I deliberately took te table next to er an er friend an append to overear wat tey were talking about. Tey were bot discussing ow muc diarrea tey were going to ave wen tey got ome. FML

#7442500
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8532) - you deserved it (27172)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today , mah sister won a bet. She bet mah best friend a burrito that I wouldn't loose mah virginity within a year. I am twenty an have to drive mah friend to Del Taco so he can buy mah sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today... some drunk dude broke into my househile my parents were out. Scared... I asked him wat he wanted... his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, Two Weeks After Reporting Our Car Was Broken Into, The Police Showed Up To Our Flat . They Cummed To Inform Us That Our Car Was Was Broken Into . We Explained That We Knew This An Reported It Weeks Ago . Apparently, It Was Broken Into Again, An Set On Fire This Time . FML

#7251449
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (1739)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today.. . I woke up feeling extremely nauseous . When I started to feel better.. . I felt like I needed to spit . I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush . The smell made me vomit all over my feet . FML

#7234315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)



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