About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by fmlalways / 01/22/2011 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous
by ewicsmelly / 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 6:23am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by pst / 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Intimacy
Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm / Australia (Tasmania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 10:35am / Romania (Cluj) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went… Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not… Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed…