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itsalanis

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itsalanis

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8092
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>22JB</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:49pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:47am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:08am<b>ChippyChoppy</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:28am<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:57am<b>wolfchick1709</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:55am<b>PDSot</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:59pm<b>vsus98</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:25pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:47am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 11:46pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:24am<b>Senra</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:46am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 11:43pm<b>MiLM</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:45am<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:47am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:43am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (40832)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13055) - you deserved it (69631)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (5255)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (7866)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10846) - you deserved it (49743)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62843) - you deserved it (13134)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19984) - you deserved it (60849)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (28545)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32171) - you deserved it (3479)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47255) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (25814)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (55737)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (9988)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9058) - you deserved it (68289)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53332) - you deserved it (10146)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



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