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itsalanis

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itsalanis

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6659
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:17am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:34am<b>Dexter83</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:58am<b>juice_33</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:28am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:20am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:07am<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Replyka</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:36pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:34pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:10pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:03pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:29pm<b>AraSmith</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:27pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 10:31am<b>jet223</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:16pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:28pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (21914)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (60695)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52920) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (5813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15163) - you deserved it (38169) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

#14600579
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (29507)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torbay)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (50961)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (3238)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (3478)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (8164)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (6050)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (3543)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (5445)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15820) - you deserved it (53319)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently somebody saw me, I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

#13883371
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16356) - you deserved it (25452)

On 11/17/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)



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