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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4183
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am<b>fuckingoboys</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:55pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Vegetarian27</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:07am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:52pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:18pm<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:22am<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:23pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:50am<b>mordecaiandrigby</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:42pm<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:14am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ctck</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:05pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:06pm

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32519) - you deserved it (3942)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (20343)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7953) - you deserved it (58975)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (4664)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34096) - you deserved it (5793) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (36837) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

#14600579
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (28334)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torbay)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11026) - you deserved it (50743)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (3463)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (8003)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (6040)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (3400)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (5429)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15732) - you deserved it (53085)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)



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