About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
itsalanis's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Transportation
by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by momma6126 / 08/25/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by lonely / 08/23/2011 at 12:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by vishuzzbabe77 / 08/22/2011 at 2:04am / United States / Animals
by boyfriend123 / 08/18/2011 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy