About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
itsalanis's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
by mystupidson / 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Transportation
by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by momma6126 / 08/25/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by lonely / 08/23/2011 at 12:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by vishuzzbabe77 / 08/22/2011 at 2:04am / United States / Animals
by boyfriend123 / 08/18/2011 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids