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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6370
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:02am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:30pm<b>joelp232</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:29am<b>theslawdawg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:06am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:15am<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Indecisionx</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:10pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:44pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm

Fucked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31598) - you deserved it (21003)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

#16974064
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm - misc - by Kate - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10219) - you deserved it (78257)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (7816)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38509) - you deserved it (3574)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13453) - you deserved it (59702)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37763) - you deserved it (16367)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (3281)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60470) - you deserved it (12631)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML

#16261628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (8983)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13512) - you deserved it (57285)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (6795)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (9731)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (8224)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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