About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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I like your style
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by LinaLinaYeah / 12/09/2011 at 11:26am / Canada / Love
Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML
by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…