itsalanis

Search for a member

Offline (23 hours ago)

itsalanis

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10322
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 5:34pm<b>t</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 8:10am<b>enticingmudkip</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 12:14am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:09pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 5:30pm<b>coleycakes_805</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 3:10pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:08pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:33am<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 10:02am<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 3:11pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 6:57am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:21pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:33pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Butterflies777</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 6:16pm<b>yanalynch</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:00am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:15pm

Fucked!<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 4:02pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 5:57am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:17am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:47am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:43am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:05am<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

by Czechplease / 11/03/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Miscellaneous