About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by LinaLinaYeah / 12/09/2011 at 11:26am / Canada / Love
Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML
by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy