About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love
Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML
by Czechplease / 11/03/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tyler Smith / 11/03/2011 at 7:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
- Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob,… Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so… Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML