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itsalanis

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itsalanis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2981
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>shaquizzy18</b> - 24 hours ago<b>sythe511</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:58pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:35pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Rernokk</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:48am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:06pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:03am<b>Aleys</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:17pm<b>gantoman</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:43pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:53pm<b>siberianhamster</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:51am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:35am<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:10am<b>tuckit</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:07am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:58pm<b>dante_53</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:40pm

itsalanis's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (5734)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (5547)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (2670)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (2545)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15505) - you deserved it (26111)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (94028)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (7188)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (20059)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

#16974064
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (3460)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm - misc - by Kate - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (77691)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (7593)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36492) - you deserved it (3404)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12613) - you deserved it (57815)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (16308)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43994) - you deserved it (3262)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)



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