About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
by LaLa / 01/09/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by jku / 01/02/2012 at 8:18am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by johncabbot25 / 12/23/2011 at 5:53am / Canada / Love
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by LinaLinaYeah / 12/09/2011 at 11:26am / Canada / Love
Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML
by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
- Today, I began day 19 of my period. I missed two days of my birth control while moving houses and… Today, at the restaurant I work at as a busser, I saw a table had left so of course I went to clean… Today, I was familiarized with cartoon pain when I stepped on a soap in my shower and broke my arm.…