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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3559
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:50am<b>mordecaiandrigby</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:42pm<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:14am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ctck</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:05pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Dro23</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:08pm<b>edvin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>shaquizzy18</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:19am<b>sythe511</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:58pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Rernokk</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:48am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:06pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:03am<b>Aleys</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:17pm

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (9467)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (14512)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35668) - you deserved it (9016)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (17052)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (5739)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (2677)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (2548)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15535) - you deserved it (26151)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10393) - you deserved it (94229)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (7193)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (20088)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

#16974064
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (3465)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm - misc - by Kate - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (77822)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36424) - you deserved it (7643)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)



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