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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4189
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am<b>fuckingoboys</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:55pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Vegetarian27</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:07am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:52pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:18pm<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:22am<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:23pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:50am<b>mordecaiandrigby</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:42pm<b>jack123456789</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:14am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ctck</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:05pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:06pm

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

itsalanis's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of itsalanis's badges

itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41125) - you deserved it (16619)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (3788)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (7956)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (18868)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (4244)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (7744)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

#18198987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (3990)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML

#18146377
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (29671)

On 11/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Czechplease - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (5131)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States



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