About itsa_maddy : YOLO
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (25552)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was finally leaving my hometown to live in my dream city. Everything was packed, keys were handed in, goodbyes were made. The moment my truck began pulling out to get underway, the guy I had gotten a room from in my new city called to inform me that he decided to rent to someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (1264)
On 07/10/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (2122)
On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18774) - you deserved it (1308)
On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (2961)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (2813)
On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (219)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18350) - you deserved it (1005)
On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (2140)
On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (1265)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17062) - you deserved it (2322)
On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (973)
On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14795) - you deserved it (1259)
On 07/07/2012 at 9:42pm - misc - by mynameiscrazy - Australia
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (4580)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
