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its_the_lex

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its_the_lex
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 113
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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its_the_lex's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

its_the_lex's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (11034)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (4417)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (2857)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

#13534312
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8253) - you deserved it (31715)

On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

#10939026
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15928) - you deserved it (28098)

On 06/03/2010 at 4:54am - intimacy - by elevenharries (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (3003)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML

#6637794
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26989) - you deserved it (2088)

On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6427) - you deserved it (28708)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130443) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14309) - you deserved it (87478)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58305) - you deserved it (7984)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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