Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

italianmafia

Search for a member

italianmafia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1655
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of italianmafia's badges

italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (9494)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67136) - you deserved it (10347)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58088) - you deserved it (10579)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (17374)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35322) - you deserved it (2978)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (14699)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9714) - you deserved it (34975)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2958)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72393) - you deserved it (24716)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13198) - you deserved it (65298)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: