it__happens

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Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 2:28pm)

it__happens

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1897
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About it__happens : Stuff happens everyday.

it__happens's page activity

Visits<b>Throggdor</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:22pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:40pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 2:52am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:51pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:06pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:59am<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:17am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:34pm<b>heyheyhey1038</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:34pm<b>Heavenfall</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:15pm<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:49pm<b>lelelawl</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:26pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:37am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:44am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:20am<b>patwo8</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:59am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 11:16pm

Fucked!<b>rylaii</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:59am<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:46am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:09am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:39am

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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it__happens's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

by limegreengiraffe / 11/01/2014 at 10:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

by Jenn / 08/16/2014 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

by can't sleep / 03/18/2014 at 4:36am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

by AlwaysAwkward / 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 3:30am / Australia / Miscellaneous