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ispeakspanish

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ispeakspanish

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  • Number of visits : 494
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ispeakspanish's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:38am<b>Moonlightring</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:02am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:40am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:11pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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ispeakspanish's favorite FMLs

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36626) - you deserved it (4366)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (2225)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (45614)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57536) - you deserved it (7206)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (15612)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (14901)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41026) - you deserved it (4040)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (3458)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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