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ispeakspanish

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ispeakspanish

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  • Number of visits : 500
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ispeakspanish's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:38am<b>Moonlightring</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:02am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:40am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:11pm

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ispeakspanish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (3479)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (4395)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (11718)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (4594)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (5534)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (45655)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57639) - you deserved it (7211)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44434) - you deserved it (15615)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43702) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)



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