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ispeakspanish

Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 4:47pm) | Search for a member

ispeakspanish

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  • Number of visits : 801
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ispeakspanish's page activity

Visits<b>ekimen</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:40am<b>CHUBBYninja</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:27pm<b>TheLawsOfGravity</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:38am<b>Moonlightring</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:02am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:40am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:11pm

ispeakspanish's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ispeakspanish's badges

ispeakspanish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (3078)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (4956)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34083) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

#21336281
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/13/2015 at 6:06am - misc - by notyourcleaner (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (2035)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (3607)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

#21331516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (5602)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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