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isorang

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isorang
  • Town/Country : California
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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isorang's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (9914)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (5526)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16820) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (1470)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (5714)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7581) - you deserved it (23369)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (4273)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (29907)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (23193)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

#19187002
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (23577)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (13983)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States



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