About isis_morrigan : i'm a pretty easy going person, and open minded. i rarely get on the actual site, usually use the app on my phone, so if u message me and i don't respond, i'm not ignoring u! lol, i just haven't gotten on. the best bet if u'd like to talk, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, i enjoy talking to new people! oh and if you couldnt tell, I love tattoos!
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isis_morrigan's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by nickyboy / 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
by Single / 08/19/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2010 at 12:35pm / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders) / Health
by knighton16 / 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML
by xxlexi_lovexx / 03/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML
by jo / 02/20/2010 at 5:47am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
by soupduped / 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
by crazylobster / 11/14/2009 at 11:52am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
by Teaching / 11/12/2009 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…