isis_morrigan

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Offline (the 10/29/2014 at 4:57pm)

isis_morrigan

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 August 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2010
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About isis_morrigan : i'm a pretty easy going person, and open minded. i rarely get on the actual site, usually use the app on my phone, so if u message me and i don't respond, i'm not ignoring u! lol, i just haven't gotten on. the best bet if u'd like to talk, email me at isis_morrigan@yahoo.com, i enjoy talking to new people! oh and if you couldnt tell, I love tattoos!

isis_morrigan's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:51pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:53am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:08am<b>heybro19</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:15am<b>leaannec30</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:55pm<b>JavitheWrestler</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:07pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:46pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:13am<b>wvcheesehead1</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:40pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:29pm<b>joco4</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:01pm<b>boeglie</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:05pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:37pm<b>valleus</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:03pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:48am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:32am<b>jill97</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 5:58am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>shain1988</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:46pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:48pm

isis_morrigan's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of isis_morrigan's badges

isis_morrigan's favorite FMLs

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

by pigeons_suck / 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

by JJMan217 / 03/29/2011 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

by leeseyxoxo / 03/27/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Animals