About isis_morrigan : i'm a pretty easy going person, and open minded. i rarely get on the actual site, usually use the app on my phone, so if u message me and i don't respond, i'm not ignoring u! lol, i just haven't gotten on. the best bet if u'd like to talk, email me at [email protected], i enjoy talking to new people! oh and if you couldnt tell, I love tattoos!
isis_morrigan's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
isis_morrigan's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
by screaming monkey / 04/04/2012 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Health
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
by RatFailure / 01/11/2012 at 12:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals