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ishminday

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ishminday

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  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33647) - you deserved it (4627)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (10803)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (6321)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (2656)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

#21237143
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (7549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/14/2014 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (21295)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40920) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (6022)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

#21230350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (8804)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:46pm - misc - by spekledworf (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2495)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47805) - you deserved it (20826)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42431) - you deserved it (6961)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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