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ishminday

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ishminday

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  • Number of visits : 1442
  • Number of comments : 1
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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (5535)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (3327)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31733) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (6738)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28810) - you deserved it (6821)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (5096)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (3764)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (3597)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (3896)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (4720)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (6304)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (5417)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32303) - you deserved it (3373)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)



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