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ishminday

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ishminday

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2066
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ishminday's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (2873)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (3450)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (2080)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26578) - you deserved it (2464)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (3091)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (19620)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (5545)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31846) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (7265)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (6862)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (5300)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

#21309908
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (3777)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)



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