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ishminday

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ishminday
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  • Number of visits : 158
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (5750)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (2939)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (3165)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

#21110843
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (3512)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:22am - misc - by onlychild (woman) - United States

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56225) - you deserved it (26718)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (16060)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (3532)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (5588)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

#21096559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32643) - you deserved it (5372)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by student101 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (9926)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (8398)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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