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ishminday

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ishminday

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  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 1
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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (3027) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (4248)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (20314)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (6003)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49501) - you deserved it (3340)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (9897)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (8338)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40039) - you deserved it (5773)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (7896)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49854) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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