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ishminday

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ishminday

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  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ishminday's favorite FMLs

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3148) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (2713)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (3972)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (3571)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (3822)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (4504)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (9244)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (2380)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (3850)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (8303)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (18068)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)



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