-I'm Female.
-My favorite color is black.
-I normally wear red converse or black vans.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you totally deserved it (2431)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48076) - you totally deserved it (8969)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44989) - you totally deserved it (1950)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you totally deserved it (17556)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you totally deserved it (6930)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you totally deserved it (42033)
On 06/17/2009 at 11:25am - money - by feminist (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you totally deserved it (185694)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4916) - you totally deserved it (68300)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you totally deserved it (2969)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you totally deserved it (2674)
On 06/05/2009 at 10:14pm - love - by Baby_girl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you totally deserved it (10704)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102976) - you totally deserved it (8939)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
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