About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.
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isallwaysme's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML
by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by shitpile / 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
by mauimango7 / 07/27/2010 at 6:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
by WelcomeWagon / 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/11/2010 at 12:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Unlucky / 05/23/2010 at 8:22pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by pumpkinlover89 / 03/27/2010 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work
Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML
by mcfaily / 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was… Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm… Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had…