About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.
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isallwaysme's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by unexpected_failure / 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
by Kate / 11/10/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
by speechless / 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
by Kristinmarsh08 / 10/29/2010 at 8:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 5:07am / Canada (Quebec) / Money
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
by lindsey789 / 10/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Alaska) / Animals
- Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes… Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father… Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends…