isallwaysme

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isallwaysme

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14845
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.

isallwaysme's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 3:01am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:10am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:48pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:59am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:45pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:47am<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:35am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:32pm<b>forest_2015</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:15pm<b>brennaunderwood</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:28am<b>Allornone</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:00am<b>ninety</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:16am

Fucked!<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:10am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:30pm

isallwaysme's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of isallwaysme's badges

isallwaysme's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

by divorcee / 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

by rxcrs3 / 08/09/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy