About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.
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isallwaysme's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
by divorcee / 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
by rxcrs3 / 08/09/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…