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isaacthedoge

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 3:11pm) | Search for a member

isaacthedoge

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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isaacthedoge's page activity

Visits<b>maxisjawesome</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:26pm

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isaacthedoge's favorite FMLs

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (4379)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (17183)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46585) - you deserved it (7000)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20087) - you deserved it (74388)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (44021)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (4181)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (25593)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (3796)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113260) - you deserved it (8505)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

#3155973
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47595) - you deserved it (9067)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (74792)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (75831)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (141806)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



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