About ironik69 : You're the boss and I am nobody. Therefore, you are the boss of nobody.
ironik69's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
ironik69's favorite FMLs
Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML
by mynameisnotstupid / 03/18/2016 at 11:05am / Germany (Bayern) / Work
by cassie0216 / 02/01/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML
by wedding leper / 01/23/2016 at 12:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML
by dramaqueen15 / 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous
by btoker / 10/15/2015 at 12:16pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML
by NotCollegeBound / 08/20/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML
by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u / 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML
by suuoerwholock / 08/14/2015 at 10:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
by ow my kidneys / 07/14/2015 at 6:33am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML
by bev_rogan / 06/21/2015 at 6:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by pissed / 05/10/2015 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…