Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 July 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2191
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ironik69 : You're the boss and I am nobody. Therefore, you are the boss of nobody.

Due to recent events, I feel I should leave a disclaimer. If you don't like what I say, there is a downvote button. No need to attack my physical appearance. But, if you do so feel the need to mention my weight, my hair color, my smile, or any other detail that you feel you just have to comment on, then do as you please. Regardless of you're silly comments, I'm still going to be me and stand up for myself and things I feel strongly about. Just as you are allowed your opinions, I am too and I will continue to comment on posts that I feel I have something to say. Attacking my physical appearance just shows how shallow you are. I may be "fat" and a ginger and have a crooked smile, but that does not mean I don't have a brain and balls enough to stand up for myself. Have a lovely day everyone!

ironik69's page activity

Visits<b>molloy2</b> - yesterday at 7:51am<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:34pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:30am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:21am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:42pm<b>TeddW</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:57am<b>Arno_Kenway</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:12pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:47am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:08pm<b>prout92340</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:48pm<b>drego5</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:37pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 5:31pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:58pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:01pm<b>MrScootyPuffSr</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:21pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:49am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:17pm

Fucked!<b>molloy2</b> - 21 hours ago<b>rohaanncool</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:31am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:03pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:17pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:34am<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ShyVi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:55am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:35am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:31am<b>soldier084</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:34pm<b>drego5</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:26am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:40pm<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:16am<b>lfrider92</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:29pm<b>MeowMcMeowenson</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:31am

ironik69's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of ironik69's badges

ironik69's favorite FMLs

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (1384)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12271) - you deserved it (27365)

On 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (3940)

On 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by dramaqueen15 -

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML

Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (2083)

On 08/20/2015 at 3:21am - misc - by NotCollegeBound (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (1745)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (1795)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (1993)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (2408)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (2465)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (7587)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30040) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: